Tuesday, June 23, 2020

100 Million Words Writing Contest

This past week, our writing group paused our Masterclass exercises to participate in Freewrite's 100 Million Words Writing Contest. Sam made the suggestion as it was free to enter, and the prompt was simple: write 2000 words or less about the topic 'Silver Linings.'  We all chose to write fictional stories, and I love how differently we all approached the topic. If you are so inclined, head over to the contest and vote for the members of our writing group: samtheamericaneagle, krpynes, and squittio.topo!

My short story is included below. I haven't come up with a title, so if you have a suggestion, please comment!

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One thing was certain, Jane had not thought claustrophobia would be her first feeling waking up in the afterlife, but here she was, gasping for air that she couldn’t take in. As she pressed desperately against the silver lining of her coffin, she found that she couldn’t brace herself. Her pale arms burst through silver lining and metal casing, plunging into the cold earth as if nothing had been there at all. She jerked her arms back to her chest in horror and closed her eyes tight. How the hell was she supposed to get out of here?
“Just stand up, it’s easier than you think” said a voice. She opened her eyes to see the misty body of an older woman floating above hers. She would have screamed if, in her terror, she remembered how, but instead she started flailing her misty limbs, trying to find stability in her new world sans gravity.
“Ah” the ghost sighed sympathetically. “That’s the ticket! Just get your body moving. You’ll figure it out soon enough. Pop on up when you’re feeling better.” She floated up through the earth and out of sight.
Jane took a deep breath (well, she tried to). It was no use delaying the inevitable, and whatever was up there would almost certainly be less terrifying than laying in her coffin for all eternity. 
She tucked her legs under her body and plunged upward through the satin lining of her coffin, like she did as a child pushing off the bottom of her parent’s swimming pool.
As she left the darkness of the ground for the darkness of the night sky, she felt the summer breeze brush her cheeks and the moonlight warmed her face with its familiar glow. Jane glanced at her surroundings—she vaguely recognized the old graveyard in which her grandparents were buried, but something seemed different.
A great oak tree towered several yards in front of her, and beyond the oak tree was the little church. Had she been married there? Or was she thinking of someone else? Her life felt like a dream long forgotten.
Under the branches of the great oak tree on an ancient bench sat the old woman, the one who had visited her coffin. In the moonlight, she looked much less menacing and maybe not quite as old as Jane had originally guessed. She was clothed in a silvery white light, which lay gently on her limbs, and her shining hair cascaded over her shoulders. Jane advanced toward the tree cautiously, unsure what to say to her dead companion after her less than ideal first impression.
The woman rose gracefully as Jane approached with her arms outstretched in welcome. “Please forgive me—I’m so sorry if I frightened you, dear Jane. I couldn’t wait any longer to see you!” Jane was quite taken aback. “I’m sorry, what do you mean?” She looked intently into her companion’s eyes. She did seem familiar in some way. And did she look a lot younger? In fact, Jane wondered why she had ever thought she was an old woman at all. Age must be a relative thing when dead: the body has lived through every age, and every age now rippled through the woman’s face like water gently stirred upon a still pond.
“I was waiting for you to wake up. You’ve been sleeping for a long time.” The woman smiled as she pointed to the grave from which Jane had risen.

Jane Gray
12/20/1989—12/01/2020

“Oh gosh,” Jane replied, glancing around a the graveyard strewn with summer. “It’s gotta be June or something?”
“Something like that,” her companion replied.
“But it was winter? I can’t remember…but wasn’t it almost Christmas? And it was snowing. And I was hanging up a stocking for the baby—”
Jane’s speech halted. Her head spun, and if she could have been sick, she would have been. 
“The baby” she gasped. “Where’s the baby?”
She began to run down to the path; she had to reach the gate. She had forgotten that as one of the dead, she no longer needed the paths of the living to travel, and she had quite forgotten that her body was just mist. All she remembered was the warm blood pooling around her former body as she had lain on the ground under the fallen ladder, her unborn child still inside her womb.

At the gate, the silvery ghost stood guard. “I’m sorry Jane,” she whispered firmly, “but you cannot leave.”

“Let me out!”  Jane screamed and clawed at the silvery woman to no avail. She could not push past the woman or the gate, as if an invisible wall stood between her and the world outside. She tried pushing herself into the air again, but the invisible wall extended up and up. There was no escape. Jane turned back, her eyes glowing as she directed her rage towards the woman guarding the gate. She never remembered feeling this angry in the land of the living, but emotion was stronger when not checked by societal norms, and that emotion brimmed over. She screamed the primal yell of a grieving mother, torn from her young, and Jane’s voice became a living thing, a howling wind which tore through the cemetery. Gravel from the path flew across the grounds like bullets, and the great oak tree swayed violently towards the ground.

“I’d stop that if I was you.” The ghost woman said calmly. “They won’t like it. They’ll probably put you back in the ground again, and you won’t like that. You made quite a fuss last time.”

Jane came face to face with the ghost, her eyes blazing. “What do you mean last time?” Her voice shook with anger and desperation.

“I mean the last time you woke up. We didn’t get far before They—“ she paused, looking up, “they came and put you back. We aren’t meant to stay here long and They don’t like us disturbing the living, especially right next to the chapel.” She nodded respectfully towards the little church where Jane now clearly remembered being married last spring. The wedding was much smaller than she had always dreamed it would be, but it had been the loveliest day, with all of the flowers in bloom and trees shrouded in leaves. “Oh…I…I don’t remember.” Jane mumbled, almost apologetically, collapsing to the ground and leaning against the invisible wall. It was nice somehow to feel something was solid, even if it was her prison gate.

Her companion sat quietly next to her, curling her knees up to her chin, where she rested her head and examined Jane intently. “They wouldn’t let me wake you up again for the longest time. They said you had to wait, and so I’ve waited also, but I would really like us to go home now.”

“Who are you?” Jane asked.

“A friend,” the woman replied quietly. She looked very young as she said this. “I’ve come to help you out of here, if you will come with me.”

“Of course I’ll come with you if you can get me out of here,” Jane replied incredulously. “I have to see if my baby is alright. Can you get me back to my house?” She longed for her little brick house on the quiet tree-lined street, freshly painted white before the winter had set in.

“No, I can’t.” Replied the woman, her glance turning to the ground. “But I can take you home.”

“That doesn’t make any sense. My house is my home. What about my husband? What about my baby? I need to find them and make sure they are okay. I can’t go anywhere until I know they are okay.”

The ghost sighed quietly. She looked like a frustrated mother explaining to her toddler for the hundredth time why she couldn’t fly to the moon in her cardboard spaceship.

“Jane, you can’t go to your house. It’s not there anymore. It hasn’t been there for a long time.”

“What do you mean? It can’t be more than six months since…since I got here. It said December and it has to be June…or July at the latest.”

“You did die in December.” Jane winced as her companion spoke. “But it was many Decembers ago. Jane…you’ve been here for years.”

…

Jane hugged her knees to her chest and stared blankly at the ground. How many years had she been sleeping while her husband mourned and her child…had her child lived? Had she grown up without a mother, all because of some stupid accident?

“It’s okay.” The woman said gently. “Everything will be alright, Jane, you just have to come with me this time. Please.”

“But my baby…where is she?”

“She’s here, Jane.” The ghost replied, gazing across the churchyard.

“She didn’t make it? I killed her…I killed her.” Jane sobbed uncontrollably now, but no tears could flow from her misty eyes.

“No, Jane, she lived. She lived a long life in the little brick house, and she missed you and loved you and hated you…but she forgave you. And she’s here now and you can go home and be with her, but you have to let go. There’s nothing for you here anyways.”

Jane thought of her home and her life in the little brick house, of her dreams of being the perfect mother and growing old with her husband. She mourned for the Christmas she had missed with her new child and all the Christmases afterwards. A vision of her daughter’s life played before her hazily: her first birthday and her last; her wedding day and the birth of her first grandchild. All the days which Jane had missed flashed through her mind like a flood, and the overwhelming sorrow became the rain that fell gently into the graveyard.

“They say it’s time for us to go” said the voice next to her, and Jane saw that her companion was now quite, quite young. “Are you ready, Mother?”

And as the rain stopped, Jane and the child she held to her chest disappeared into the light of the sunrise.



Monday, June 22, 2020

What I've Read in 2020 (so far)



As of June 22nd, I've read 53 books so far this year. My original goal was a book a week, but with the world-wide pandemic, and almost limitless access to Hoopla, I've upped my goal to 100 books. I won't go into painstaking (and painful) detail on every book I've read, but I will share the best and the worst. In case you want to know how and why I choose the ratings I choose, check out my previous post. 

It's more fun to start with the worst, so let's begin. (all images I am borrowing from my Goodreads)

★
(One star= This book is the worst and you should feel ashamed that you wasted valuable time reading it.)

I blame COVID for the fact that I even picked this book up. It was my last library trip before the library closed, and I grabbed books right and left in a frantic fury like everyone else was grabbing toilet paper. This particular choice was a mistake. This book was worse than awful. The protagonist was bizarre and boring, the male love-interest was completely one-dimensional, snooze-worthy and masochistic (Bella Swan flashbacks anyone?), the book was about 500 pages too long and there was no climax. I mourn the time I spent reading this which could have been better spent cleaning my bathrooms or rearranging my underwear drawer. Truly abysmal.

Fortunately, I've only wasted time on one completely worthless book so far this year. On to the two-star reads...

★★
(2 stars=Overall this book was terrible, but it had some redeeming qualities.)    

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Some of the ideas presented in this book were good and interesting, but overall, the writer spent the majority of text complimenting herself and bringing attention to the fact that she was very successful and gave it all up and you should too. I think it would have been much better as a succinct article or essay. Take into account that I generally despise non-fiction of this type for various reasons which I will get into another time.

3. The Fall of Arthur by J.R.R. Tolkien Edited by Christopher Tolkien ★★/5
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While the small section of this book which contained the poem deserves a higher rating, the commentary lacked luster. Tolkien never meant for this to be published as it was not even closed to being finished, and this rating does not reflect on him, clearly. I just wouldn't read this again.

4.-6. One, Two, Buckle My Shoe; The Hollow; Taken at the Flood by Agatha Christie ★★/5

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I grouped these together as they're are all Agatha Christie's to which I give two stars. I've read dozens of AC in the past year, so I can't remember why each of these received a two, but they didn't stand out as favorites. I'm sure this information is helpful to no one.

★★★
(3 stars=You liked this book, but you probably wouldn't read it again.)

7.-10. Abandon; Pines; Wayward; The Last Town all by Blake Crouch ★★★/5

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I enjoy reading Blake Crouch's books so much. I only discovered him last fall when a friend recommended 'Recursion' and 'Dark Matter,' both of which I thoroughly enjoyed. The four listed above were also very entertaining, but I don't think I would ever read them again. Crouch really has a way of getting you hooked immediately though, because I think I read all of these cover to cover (one at a time that is).

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Jen Fulwiler came to my attention a year or so ago when she gave a speech at the yearly (?) FOCUS conference. Her message really spoke to me, and so despite my aversion to non-fiction written by bloggers, I decided to give it a chance. I really did like hearing her story (I listened to the audiobook, and it's so much better to hear her actually share her words). Here's a video of her talk:



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Though it was hard to read (emotionally), I really enjoyed this autobiography written by Dr.Saks concerning her battle with schizophrenia. Everything she's been able to accomplish even while struggling with this illness inspired and educated me.

13-22. ★★★/5 Agatha Christie Novels: 

Mrs.McGinty's Dead
The Labours of Hercules
Evil Under the Sun
Dumb Witness
Sad Cypress
Hercule Poirot's Christmas
Murder in the Mews
Cards on the Table
Murder in Mesopotamia
Death in the Clouds
121622 16425 16305 Dumb Witness (Hercule Poirot, #16) 43303516349121646 16297 Murder in Mesopotamia (Hercule Poirot, #14) 16326

Woof. I read a lot of Agatha Christie during quarantine, so they all kind of run together. I feel like 'Sad Cypress' was my favorite of this lot, but I gave them all my 3-star rating. Fun fact, all of the Agatha Christie novels are available on Hoopla, which is how I found them all during lockdown.

23. Much Obliged, Jeeves by P.G.Wodehouse ★★★/5

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As you will see in my four/five star sections, I fell down the Wodehouse rabbit-hole again. I read all of the Jeeves and Wooster novels last summer, and I have read most of them again already this summer. I didn't love this one as much as the others, clearly.



★★★★
(4 stars=You really enjoyed this book and would most likely read it again.)


24-25. Emma & Mansfield Park by Jane Austen ★★★★/5

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Jane Austen embodies that magical quality in her writing which makes me love all of her books, even when I hate the characters. Both Emma and Mansfield Park contain characters I don't like, but MP is definitely the worse offender. Each character is AWFUL in their own way, and I didn't wish any of them to get their happy endings, because none deserved them. If I did half stars, I think Emma would get more of a 4.5, because I do like it more than Mansfield, but the writing in each is so captivating.

26-31. How Right you Are, Jeeves; Aunts Aren't Gentlemen; Jeeves and the Feudal Spirit; The Mating Season; Joy in the Morning; Thank you Jeeves by P.G. Wodehouse ★★★★/5

16377Aunts Aren't Gentlemen (Jeeves, #15)16375163909928818

Jeeves and Wooster is like a favorite sitcom for me---I can come back and re-read again and again. Most of the J&W are recorded on audiobook (Hoopla for the win) by Jonathan Cecil, who is amazing. I highly recommend listening to these books over reading them, because Cecil really brings the characters to life.
I would like to give a disclaimer to Thank you, Jeeves.  I didn't actually rate that one on my Goodreads page or post a photo because I can't really recommend it. While there are very clever and funny parts, the blatant racism of the time is very prevalent in that particular book, and I don't want to promulgate it. Very unfortunate, and because of that, I won't read it again and don't recommend it.

32. That Hideous Strength by C.S.Lewis ★★★★/5
That Hideous Strength (The Space Trilogy, #3)

This third installment of the Space Trilogy was my least favorite, but I still enjoyed it. It's very possible that I didn't totally get it, so I will re-read it sometime in the future when I am a little 'older' as they say in Perelandra.


33-34. Five Little Pigs & Appointment with Death by Agatha Christie ★★★★/5

Five Little Pigs (Hercule Poirot, #25)Appointment with Death (Hercule Poirot, #19)

More Agatha Christie! I'm out of control!

35. Eleanor & Park by Rainbow Rowell ★★★★/5
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Aww...this was such a sweet book. It's not the next great American novel, but I loved the sweet romance of the two awkward teenagers. The author clearly remembers what its like to feel in love for the first time. Really sweet.

36. Persuasion by Jane Austen ★★★★/5
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Whoops, could have included this one with the other Austens. Again, Persuasion isn't my favorite and I don't love the main character, but I just love Austen's writing style. Definitely worth reading.

37. A Tale of Two Cities by Charles Dickens ★★★★/5

1953

I had somehow never read this book until now, and after years of hearing 'you're going to cry at the end!' and 'It's so so so so so so so amazing OMG,' I might have been a little underwhelmed. Sorry, Charlie. But again, it was good. I did find it fairly predictable, and the main female character (name is escaping me) was a bit annoying.

38. Stardust by Neil Gaiman ★★★★/5
Stardust

I was expecting to love this book as much as I've loved NG's other books...and I didn't. I found this book to be a very rare exception to the 'the book is much better than the movie' rule. I saw this movie years ago and LOVED it, although I can't quite remember all the details. The book is a bit different and sort of anti-climactic. It's still brilliant in many ways, it was just not my favorite Gaiman.  

                                       
                              ★★★★★ 
     (5 stars= This book was amazing and you definitely should read it again.) 


39. Pride and Prejudice by Jane Austen ★★★★★/5

              Pride and Prejudice

Don't tell my Jane Austen Bookclub, but I actually read this in January...and we are scheduled to read it in August. Oops. I'll read it again next month---it's just that enjoyable. All of the characters are so wonderful and the story is enticing, every time.

40. Brideshead Revisted by Evelyn Waugh ★★★★★/5
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This has been on my to-read list for many years, and I went into it without having any knowledge as to what the story was about. I am already planning to re-read this book next winter, because I know I missed so much the first time around. I'm not even sure what to say about it, other than it's beautiful and thought-provoking.

41. Educated by Tara Westover ★★★★★/5
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This book deserves 5 stars by a long shot, but I will never read it again. I realize that's not a very positive review for a book that I clearly admired, but I won't. As I've shared before, I'm not a huge fan of non-fiction, and something as heart-wrenching as this story was very hard to read. I just love her resilience and her message that self-education is possible (clearly, it was not ideal). Not only was the story quite incredible, but Tara Westover's writing style blew me away. I hope she writes more books.

42.Searching for and Maintaining Peace: A Small Treatise on Peace of Heart by Father Jacques Philippe ★★★★★/                            
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Ironically (providentially?), I picked up this book a few weeks before COVID-19 hit. It's a tiny book full of reflections on the importance of maintaining internal peace. This is something I've really struggled with personally, and I plan to revisit this book from time to time.

43. Tess of the D'Urbervilles by Thomas Hardy ★★★★★/5
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I remember first reading this book as a high school senior. I was at work, listening on my tiny Ipod to the MP3 audio which I had downloaded for free from Librivox (Adrian Praetzellis was the reader and he is amazing). I got to a very heart-wrenching part, and I remember my eyes welling with tears as I freely wept, like teenagers do, in a room full of people over Tess's fate. Not my best moment, but that is still how I feel when I read Thomas Hardy. He captures the human person so magnificently and exposes human hypocrisy so abashedly. At the time that he was writing, I believe there was still much more class distinction (discrimination) and I can only imagine the criticism he received for exposing it.

44-45. Out of the Silent Planet & Perelandra by C.S. Lewis ★★★★★/5

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I am definitely going to need to come back and re-read this entire trilogy, as I said before under 'That Hideous Strength.' Without giving anything away, this trilogy reaffirmed by deep belief that there is/could be intelligent life outside of earth (Uh oh, didn't know KP was crazy, clicking away slowly...). But really, the way that C.S.Lewis presents this idea is so beautiful and thought-provoking. I love all of his books that I've read and the way that he uses allegory, so so well.

46. Laurus by Eugene Vodolazkin ★★★★★/5
            
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Laurus was the biggest surprise for me this year (reading-wise, lol COVID). The story was simple, but beautiful. I've been thinking about this book since I finished it several months ago and will probably read it again in the next couple of years. It's not widely available (at least, I couldn't find it) but Hoopla has an audio version.

47. Beyond Tenebrae by Bradley J. Birzer ★★★★★/5
    
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My favorite college professor released this title earlier this year and he sent me a copy to review. Here's what I wrote on Goodreads and Amazon:

"When you begin this beautiful anthology, prepare yourself to be sent down many delightful rabbit-holes. So many of the people and works referenced by Dr.Birzer inspired me to read further into the worlds of the modern Christian Humanists. Despite being a former student of Dr.Birzer (and having the privilege of participating in his Christian Humanist course), I found myself understanding more deeply the beauty of the human person by reflecting on all the individuals represented. Because of this work, I have spent the last couple of weeks engaging with C.S.Lewis in his Space Trilogy, revisiting the glorious world of Willa Cather and beginning, for the first time, the lesser-known writings of Tolkien. Dr.Birzer passionately loves the human person, and this is very evident in everything he writes, but most profoundly in this compilation. I highly recommend this beautiful book."

48. The Ocean at the End of the Lane by Neil Gaiman ★★★★★/5
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I can't believe how long I've lived without reading Neil Gaiman. I've mentioned before that I discovered his books through his Masterclass. Not only does his writing speak right to my soul, but he is also a brilliant teacher. I wish I could take a class from him in real life.

Here's my Goodreads review: 

"I very recently discovered Neil Gaiman through his MasterClass, and he is already one of my favorite writers of all time. His writing resonates so deeply into the human experience, that each of his novels I’ve read thus far has brought me to tears.
A favorite quote from this one:
“I’m going to tell you something important. Grown-ups don't look like grown-ups on the inside either. Outside, they're big and thoughtless and they always know what they're doing. Inside, they look just like they always have. Like they did when they were your age. The truth is, there aren't any grown-ups. Not one, in the whole wide world.”"



49-50. The Code of the Woosters & The Inimitable Jeeves by P.G. Wodehouse ★★★★★/5

9858081  The Inimitable Jeeves (Jeeves, #2)

I think these two, along with Stiff Upper Lip, Jeeves, are my favorite Wodehouse novels. Do yourself a favor and listen to the Jonathan Cecil audiobook version. To paraphrase someone on Goodreads, it's impossible to be sad while reading P.G. Wodehouse. Love love love.

51. The Graveyard Book by Neil Gaiman ★★★★★/5

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The Graveyard Book may be my favorite book of the year (so far). It's categorized as YA Fiction, but I loved it as an adult. I listened to this on audio with the author narrating. It's available on Hoopla and also Overdrive as of June 2020. I highly recommend listening to the audio.

52. Sense and Sensibility by Jane Austen ★★★★★/5

 Sense and Sensibility
This is an old favorite, which I've read countless times, and I will read countless more times. I'll probably do a post on it sometime, so I'll leave it at that for now.

53. Coraline by Neil Gaiman ★★★★★/5

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I remember seeing Coraline in theatre; I think it was 2008? I remember being very intrigued by the story, but also very creeped out. I never imagined that I would read the book, let alone love it. Fortunately, it's been long enough since I saw the film that I didn't really remember what was going to happen, and like most books, it was better than the movie.

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WOOF. That was a lot of books. I'll stick to monthly updates in the future and I'll probably do them chronologically instead of by rating. Also, I stopped linking the books part of the way through because I'm lazy (and also not an Amazon Affiliate or anything, so no incentives haha).

Happy Reading!!

KPA